We're Going to Be Friends

I'm patient of this plan
as humble as I can
I'll wait another day
before I turn away
but know this much is true
no matter what I do
offend in every way
I don't know what to say

I'm coming through the door
but they're expecting more
of an interesting man
sometimes I think I can
but how much can I fake
I'll speak until I break
with every word I say
offend in every way

You tell me to relax
and listen to these facts
that everyone's my friend
and will be till the end
but know this much is true
no matter what I do
no matter what I say
offend in every way