Misery

It's too hard for me to bear this heartbreaking pain alone.
I cannot fall asleep today and I am deep in thought.
Dying slowly.
Inside of my fuckin’ mind.
I lost myself.
Dying slowly.
Inside of my  mind.
I cannot control.
I can't forgive myself even if I spend every day blaming myself.
I can't forgive myself even if I start to stab my wrist and bleed.
Darkness swallows me.
And I'm alone again.
I trying to lock me up again.
I struggled to catch the time, but I'm always left alone and only hurt.
I’m lying on the bed after taking medicine.
Close my eyes and pray to God.
But every morning when I open my eyes, I realize there's no God.