UnMerry Christmas

The city lights are glowing bright
They bring me back to you each night
Through windows, laughter fills the air
But your warmth isn’t waiting there
I fill my days with endless tasks
Erase the space where questions ask
I drown in work, pretend I’m fine
But your name lingers every time
The carol songs are soft but cruel
Their melodies feel like a duel
I try to sing, but my voice fades
It trembles through the masquerade
Snow falls gently, the world turns white
The season brings back endless nights
No matter how I turn away
The chimes still call me yesterday
I don’t want Christmas here this year
Don’t need the past to reappear
Every sound, every glow
Takes me where I shouldn’t go
I don’t want Christmas here this year
The hours blur as I stay late
No room to feel, no time to wait
Your name escapes between my sighs
No matter how I push, it hides
The frosted glass conceals the view
But shadows always lead to you
I’m standing still beneath the snow
While winter won’t let you let go
I don’t want Christmas here this year
Don’t need the past to reappear
Every sound, every glow
Takes me where I shouldn’t go
The season everyone holds so dear
Why am I lost in frozen fear?
I’m running from what we once knew
But winter keeps me close to you
I don’t want Christmas, not this year
Don’t need the past to reappear
Every sound, every glow
Takes me where I shouldn’t go
I don’t want Christmas in my life
It cuts me deep, just like a knife
Every cheer, every song
Feels like everything went wrong
I don’t want Christmas, not this year
Don’t need the past to reappear
Every sound, every glow
Takes me where I shouldn’t go
I don’t want Christmas here this year