Joy To The World Bob Rivers

The Lord has come Let earth receive her King Let every heart prepare Him room And heaven and nature sing And heaven and nature sing And heaven and heaven and nature sing Joy to the world The Lord has come

Decorations Bob Rivers

I love the colored lights every year And the way the neighbors stop their cars and stare I strap a Santa Claus on my roof Plastic candy canes and reindeer everywhere I'm stringin' up decorations It's straining

I Am Santa Claus Bob Rivers

I am Santa Claus Ho ho ho ho ho Flying Through the snow Can you hear him ho ho ho He's so full of cheer only has to work one day a year Children in their beds Visions of sugar plums fill their heads

That Rhythm Man Louis Armstrong

Now the tress all sway to rhythm And the children play to rhythm All the birdies flap their wings in rhythm too Oh the breezes float to rhythm And the rivers flow to rhythm Ev`ry flower nods in rhythm

How It Feels (To Be Old) Bob Rivers

Lately all the songs I write Are slow and on the mellow side. I used to stand on MTV, But now they bring a chair for me.

Officer Fuhrman Bob Rivers

He likes to set up colored people. He likes to frame the colored people. Officer Fuhrman driving through Brentwood At night with a glove in his bag, his evidence bag.

Christmas Party Song Bob Rivers

"The boss's friend is gay" More beer for you and for me And stories for us to share No fear, I jumped on a desk And danced while everyone stared I didn't even know I put on a show Till next morning take

The Angel Bob Rivers

The angel rides with hunch-backed children, poison oozing from his engine Wieldin' love as a lethal weapon, on his way to hubcap heaven Baseball cards poked in his spokes, his boots in oil he's patiently

Pokemon Bob Rivers

[Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of money mon mon mon Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of Money mon mon mon mon We got to find a pokemon Before it's Christmas Eve The kids must have a Pikachu It's called I do

The Twelve Pains Of Christmas Bob Rivers

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry husband: Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree

Getting Fatter All The Time Bob Rivers

I'm getting fatter all the time. I used to be size 32 and I never gave. My jeans used to fit, I looked cool. Now I'm not the same. Put on a few pounds, my shape's getting round.

Wrong Foot Amputated Bob Rivers

Wrong foot amputated Wrong foot amputated He got the wrong foot amputated The doctor had compassion he tried to cure my disease I was sweating on the way to the op room gave me sedatives to put me at ease

Foreigners Bob Rivers

Hey, we want to be Americans, But we're illegal aliens, And we really like it here, Though we don't speak the language clear. Foreigners... Stamping out our unions, (What do you mean, man?)

I Used To Rock And Roll All Night Bob Rivers

You loved us when the band was hot. And now we're gonna give it one more shot. We're gettin' old, We must be crazy. We're puttin' on the makeup again. It covers up a buncha wrinkled skin.

There's A Santa Who Looks A Lot Like Elvis Bob Rivers

Elvis Down at the K-Mart store But the scariest sight to see Is that jolly VIP In a pompadour A pair of blue suede boots and a beard with black roots And a face you knew way back when A drawl in his

O Come All Ye Grateful Dead-Heads Bob Rivers

"Oh come all ye Grateful Deadheads to the concert Oh come Grateful Deadheads And camp in the street Bring rolling papers Don't forget your sleeping bags Oh come get us some floor seats We followed them

It's The Most Fattening Time Of The Year Bob Rivers

It's the most fattening time of the year With that pumpkin pie filling and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer It's the most fattening time of the year It's the lip smackingest season of all while your

Flu Ride Bob Rivers

Just hear those noses snifflin' Sore throats ticklin' too Come on it's lousy weather To be sufferin' inside with the flu Outside the snow is fallin' Your fever's at 102 Let's take some Alka-Seltzer And

I Came Upon A Roadkill Deer Bob Rivers

I came upon a roadkill deer A sorrowful sight to behold He lay upon the highway's edge His body was stiff and cold I bet he never saw the car Careening through the snow The lights shone brightly

A Letter To Santa Bob Rivers

Dear Santa Claus, It has been brought to my attention by one of our operatives that you have secured for yourself, and your interests, a very lucrative position in the toy and game industry.

Free As A Turd Bob Rivers

It's a piece of crap to me Can hardly hear the words... Whatever happened to, The rights to Love me Do? We made Michael Jackson one rich mother.

Middle Age Waistline Bob Rivers

(Baba O'Riley - The Who) I eat Mrs.

Beat Up Old Jetliner Bob Rivers

Goodbye to all my friends I've known And the travel agent I trusted. I'm riding along on this beat-up old plane; Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted.

O Little Town Of Bethlehem Bob Rivers

"Oh little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie Above thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go by Yet in thy dark streets shineth, the everlasting light The hopes and fears of all the years

Buttcracker Suite Bob Rivers

Magical shorts that disappear Buy your loved one this Noël The kind of gift he can't resell Because it kind of smells If someone else has tried it on Thong! You could be dancing cheek to cheek Thong!

Wreck The Malls Bob Rivers

"Wreck the malls this Christmas season Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Blow your cash for no good reason Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Push your charge card to the limit Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la Checkbook

Bowel Moves Bob Rivers

I was a little too stuffed, had to lose a few pounds, Pants too tight, seams bustin' out. Just had a big burrito with beans and rice, Salsa on top, with some extra spice, Lots of extra spice.

Carol Of The Bartenders Bob Rivers

Hark all they got Tales seem to flow Gin tinkling More Chardonnay Christmas is here Drinking the cheer Ice cubes are cold More Cuervo Gold Don't be a dink Watch what you drink Don't be a dork Don't pop

Read It In The Tabloids Bob Rivers

Was waiting in line at the grocery store. Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore. And it took me by surprise I must say When I found out the Pope was gay. I read it in the tabloids.

Mr. Magoo Bob Rivers

Got a flat in Timbuktu Waiting for AAA And I saw that single headlight through the rain Flagged the geezer in the car down, He was going the wrong way We sped away and left rubber on all four lanes He

Manger 6 Bob Rivers

We know you have been traveling a lot this holiday season and you've probably been told there is no room at the Inn. Well, that's just not the case here at Manger 6.

Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire Bob Rivers

Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir They poked hot skewers through their nose (Ow! Wrong end, ya cowboy!)

The Twisted Chipmunk Song Bob Rivers

Ready to sing your song? -I'll say we are! -Yeah! -Let's sing it now! Okay, Simon? -Okay! Okay, Theodore? -Okay! Okay, Alvin? Alvin? ALVIN! -OKAY!!!)

Minimum Wage Bob Rivers

-Welcome to BurgerDoodle, can I have your order please? -Oh yes. I'd like a Spiffy Burger with low fat cheese and an order of seasoned curly fries but only if they're cooked in virgin peanut oil.

OJ's Trial Thing Bob Rivers

You expect people to believe that there are people actually playing golf at ten o' clock at night? Ya wanna know what I think?

Homeless On the Holidays Bob Rivers

Oh there’s food for the homeless on the holidays Cause no matter how filthy or uncombed If you’re down on your luck you can really graze For the holidays we throw those bums a bone I met a man who drank

The Chimney Song Bob Rivers

That there's something in the chimney and it doesn't make a sound, But I wish you Merry Christmas.

When A Man Loves A Chicken Bob Rivers

When a man loves a chicken He can't keep his mind on nothin' else, He stay in the barn for the good thing he's found. If he is henpecked he can't see it; she can't do no wrong.

All You Need Is Elves Bob Rivers

Elves, elves, elves Elves, elves, elves Elves, elves, elves Santa doesn't shop at Toys "R" Us Doesn't have to fight the Christmas rush He's never out of stock of even the hardest toys and games It's easy

Who Put The Stump Bob Rivers

I'd like to find the guy Who done me wrong And stuck my butt up On this Christmas tree. Who put the stump In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump? Who took and jammed it In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong?

There's Another Santa Claus Bob Rivers

Something doesn't seem right His beard is gray, that's a nice toupee But his eyebrows oughta be white There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus There's another Santa Claus there One at the

Jingle Hells Bells Bob Rivers

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Like Guns N Roses with Axel Rose spittin' Ozzie's black eyes and the bats that he's bitten Big Marshall stacks and a broken E-string These are a few of my favorite things Ho Ho Ho Penthouse

Do They Know It's Christmas The Echoing Green

> It's Christmas time No need to be afraid At Christmas time, we let in light And we banish shade In a world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy Throw your arms around the world At Christmas time

Spinning Reel Bob Rivers

(Spinning Wheel - Blood, Sweat & Tears) Rod goes up Line goes out Spinning reel Fishing for trout Casting toward the bubbles and you reel it in Hook a speckled rainbow watch the spinning reel spin You

Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear Bob Rivers

"Lacey things, the wife is missing. Didn't ask, for her permission I'm wearing her clothes, her silk panty hose. Walking around in women's underwear. In the store, there's a teddy.

I'm A Weight Watcher Bob Rivers

I was just a boy When I tried to eat my toy. Couldn't reacy my toes To put my shoes on. But now I'm 28, I'm big, fat, and overweight. I've got a new pastime to chew on.

Do They Know It`s Christmas Band Aid

It\'s Christmastime There\'s no need to be afraid At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

We Wish You Weren't Living With Us Bob Rivers

weren't living with us We wish you weren't living with us We wish you weren't living with us We're not happy you're here You drive everybody crazy You're hopelessly fat and lazy You're constantly in the

Song of Joy dreams come true

SONG OF JOY crystal perfect, they're shining so intensely tiny galaxy gazing back at me, lovely world in youe eyes I can't look away, because my knees get weak when you smile like the sun

He's So Jolly Bob Rivers

He's so jolly Santa's so jolly Christmas night he's in his sled where he belongs You're looking great, Santa Lost some weight, Santa Red cheeks glowing, ho-ho-ho'ing, you keep growing strong I feel the