Number One Loudon Wainwright III

Of all the chicks & broads & babes & bimbos I have known No one does it better than you do on the phone Midway through my busy day all through my empty night I dial your 900 number and it feels oh so right

You Never Phone Loudon Wainwright III

never write you never phone I`m sorry to bitch and moan I`m sorry to pick this bone You never write you never phone Sometimes I wonder ow wow ow wow ow wow What you must think of me My address and phone number

The End Has Begun Loudon Wainwright III

We walk in your footsteps Though I've had my ups and downs And I'll stand in the silence Until I figure it out One might fall and the other will stand And one might give where the other won't bend The

So Many Songs Loudon Wainwright III

I've written so many songs about you This is the last one, after this I'm through When I sing this one, when I do my show, People will hear it, the world will know I've written so many songs about you

Unhappy Anniversary Loudon Wainwright III

Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since we split I walk and talk and get around Lie down, stand up, and sit I eat and drink and smoke and sing and Live a little bit Unhappy Anniversary It's one year since

T.S.M.N.W.A. Loudon Wainwright III

Wainwright has two w's They get that one wrong and I get the blues That old grammar school try 's Not good enough guys Wainwright has two w's One day I thought I would die When I saw with my very one eye

I Can'T Stand Myself Loudon Wainwright III

I sure can pick 'em Out looking for my next victim Who will that unlucky one be?

Four Mirrors Loudon Wainwright III

I've slumped in your chair Tossed and turned in your bed Lurked in your lair I have lived in your head Where others were closer No one is nearer As I glimpse you in me In the hallway mirror I've grabbed

Mr. Ambivalent Loudon Wainwright III

Ambivalent You don't gain no ground When you stay in one spot Mr.

Cobwebs Loudon Wainwright III

I hate it when I hear it especially when I see it Gotta stamp it out there ought to be some laws College boys valley girls mall rats grandmammas Everybody's misusin that word I heard it four times in one

Mr. Guilty Loudon Wainwright III

Call me Mr Guilty, Mr Guilty that's my name Without a doubt it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame You say that you're unhappy I do believe it's true Cause I'm the one, the no good bum That did it all

Nocturnal Stumblebutt (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

think I left some in my coat No they're not there, but there's a chance I left some in a packet in my pants Bumped into the table, just below the belt If you were a man baby you'd know how that felt Just one

A Father And A Son Loudon Wainwright III

Now, your mother's family, you know them: Each and every one a gem, Each and every one a gem. When I was your age I was a mess; On a bad day I still am, I guess.

Ogm Loudon Wainwright III

The OGM on our machine Began with we're not here now But you went and changed the "we" to "no one" Do you mean us or me?

Clockwork Chartreuse (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

It's a hard day at the office, one needs to unwind. Let's mix up some cocktails...the Molotov kind. Burn down the high school...the synogogue. Let's burn down McDonald's--let's go whole hog!

Talking New Bob Dylan Loudon Wainwright III

just us and of course you were you And "John Wesley Harding" sure sounded new And then, "Nashville Skyline" was even newer 'Blood On the Tracks' an' the ringin' got truer Let's see, there was another one

Dilated to Meet You (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Perhaps tomorrow night We're hoping you won't hurt too much And that you'll be all right Life has a few unpleasantries We may as well confess We suppose you'll cry a lot And that you'll be a mess There is one

Muse Blues (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I went down to the library, you know the big one way downtown I pulled out my spiral notebook and my scripto pencil These, these, these are

Something For Nothing Loudon Wainwright III

You can pull one of my songs right out of thin air Go ahead and download me see if I care In love war and cyberspace everything`s fair And it`s ok to steal `coz it`s so nice to share You`re in luck `cos

Your Mother & I Loudon Wainwright III

you Families get broken, I know it's a shame It's nobody's fault, you're not to blame Your Mother & I are both feeling bad Things will get better, It won't stay this sad And I hope when you grow up, one

I'D Rather Be Lonely Loudon Wainwright III

(Chorus) One more verse, a few more words Love is for the bees and birds Not for a human being like me. I'd rather be lonely.

Red Guitar (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Used to have a red guitar until I smashed it one drunk night Smashed it in the classic form as Peter Townsend might I threw it in the fireplace, I left it there awhile Kate, she started crying when she

Between Loudon Wainwright III

Honour thy father, and thy mother, Though they're not the same, and one pits you 'gainst the other, It's the cruellest game, You are stuck and you are stranded, you must live until you di-ie.

The Acid Song Loudon Wainwright III

I had not taken acid for twelve years, But one night last summer I did. I was adrift in a bar room, Acting like a jerk and a kid. I knew we were asking for trouble, Trouble was what we would get.

What Gives Loudon Wainwright III

a few years back Natalie and Nat King Cole duetted and went gold There's a way to make it pay Though they've flown the coup John Denver, Stevie Ray, Vaughan, Buddy Holly Ricky Nelson, Otis Redding in one

Rufus Is A Tit Man Loudon Wainwright III

So put Rufus on the left one And put me right on the right And like Romulus and Remus We'll suck all night. Come on mamma Come on and lactate awhile.

Say That You Love Me (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

simple words, least it's a start Come on, say that you love me, say that it's true Say that you love me and I said it to you Well, it's been said before and you can say it again I got to be more than just one

Westchester County Loudon Wainwright III

richer than most, I don't mean to boast But I swam in the country club pool With a father from Hewlett, Long Island And a mother fromTifton, GA During the war in the Marine Corps They met and then married one

Happy Birthday Elvis Loudon Wainwright III

Happy birthday, Elvis; I for one will not shed tears. You'll be back for the millennium; That's in seven measly years.

A Song Loudon Wainwright III

like an annoying friend It's true that you like what you get You get what you're given God knows what the hell you'll like That's why he's up in heaven Here's a song I didn't even write It came to me one

Come A Long Way (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Couldn't see the flowers on account of the snow What did you do with your burden and your cross Did you carry it yourself or did you crack You and I know that a burden and a cross Can only be carried on one

Smokey Joe's Cafe (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

One day while I was eating beans at Smokey Joe’s Café Sitting digging on the scene at Smokey Joe’s Café A chick came walking through the door that I had never seen before Least I’d never saw her down at

1994 Loudon Wainwright III

our parents Now we can pin it on our genes Hey and I'm not talking 501's I don't mean no pair of pants I'm talking about a future Where nothing's left to chance If you'rre dumb, fat, queer, or crazy No one

Pretty Good Day Loudon Wainwright III

go to the shop I stepped outside and I didn't get shot Oh, it's a pretty good day so far I didn't hear any sirens or explosions No murders coming in from those heavy guns No UN tanks and I didn't see one

Suddenly It's Christmas Loudon Wainwright III

Dragging through the falling leaves In a one-horse open sleigh. Suddenly it's Christmas Seven weeks before the day. Suddenly it's Christmas The longest holiday.

Thanksgiving Loudon Wainwright III

want to kill them I look around and recognize A sister and a brother We rarely see our parents now We hardly see each other On this auspicious occasion This special family dinner If I argue with a loved one

Down Drinking at the Bar Loudon Wainwright III

Paying for your lowlife thrills with wet quarters and soggy one dollar bills. I know where you are, baby. You're down drinking at the bar. Dean Martin's on the jukebox, I bet.

Conspiracies Loudon Wainwright III

pile up You think at least we'd bark When we sing of red nosed reindeer And snowmen who dance and talk Well it's just a harmless story A fairytales and Christmas fun Not unlike that other theory The one

The Home Stretch Loudon Wainwright III

miles away That is full of young male models Not all of whom are gay In the meanwhile you`ve stopped writing songs There`s nothing left to say You`d like to get your old job back and mow lawns again one

Tonya's Twirls Loudon Wainwright III

When you saw those two together, you knew it wasn't hard To see that she was different, not just one of the girls, With their gliding and their sliding and their pirouettes and twirls.

I'M Alright Loudon Wainwright III

Can't believe it's been so many years We better grab a chair and a couple of beers You're lookin' good in your three piece suit You know I always knew you'd take the business route You were always the one

Y2k Loudon Wainwright III

it's just a little glitch It wan't done by some crazy hackin son of a bitch And Sadaam didn't do it, can't blame him No it's a geek with the glasses and the stupid silly grin Billionaire Bill that's the one

East Indian Princess (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

East Indian princess lives in a western dreamHappy like a child, her mother is a queenYou know she's safe as a cow on a Calcutta streetThis English way of life has got that other life beatAnd readi...

B Side (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

It's wonderful to be aliveTo be a bee in this beehiveIt's tough as nails, it's smooth as silkIt's milk and honey, without milkI work with flowers, it's my workFrom this, there's no way that I can s...

New Paint Loudon Wainwright III

At the station you can meet herWith that smile you couldn?t cheat herA woman that kind is hard to findIt?s good to take a girlIn the not so very good worldAnd walk in the park until it gets darkSom...

Drinking Song (Album Version) Loudon Wainwright III

Drunk men stagger, drunk men fallDrunk men swear and that's not allQuite often they will urinate outdoorsLike widowed women, drunk men weepLike children curled up, drunk men sleepLike a dog, a drun...

Grown Man Loudon Wainwright III

. ------------- Lyrics Powered by LyricFind Written By WAINWRIGHT Lyrics © DOWNTOWN MUSIC PUB LLC OBO SNOWDEN MUSIC, INC.(ASCAP)

Father/Daughter Dialogue Loudon Wainwright III

[Loudon] Darling Daughter can't you see The guy singing the songs ain't me He's someone people wish I was What I can't do this dude does And if the songs seem slightly pat I know life's messier than that

Dreaming Loudon Wainwright III

I'd rather be dreaming than livingLiving's just too hard to doIt's chances not choicesNoises not voicesA day's just a thing to get throughLiving's just too hard to doI'd rather be dreaming than tal...

Dead Skunk Loudon Wainwright III

Crossin` the highway late last night He shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right He didn`t see the station wagon car The skunk got squashed and there you are You got yer Dead skunk in the mi...