A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you''re as cold as yesterday''s mashed potatoes
A fine romance, you won''t nestle
A fine romance, you won''t wrestle
I might as well play bridge
With my old maid aunt
I haven''t got a chance
This is a fine romance
A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, I''ll take jello
You''re calmer than the seals
In the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion
A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
I''ve never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance