"One fine day as I was a-walkin' down the street
Spied a beggar man with rags upon his feet
Took a penny from my pocket
In his tin cup I did drop it
I heard him say as I made my retreat
[Chorus:]
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with his toes
May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
The laundry man is really on his toes
Found a hundred-dollar bill among my clothes
When he called me I came a-runnin'
Gave him back his dime for phonin'
I heard him sayin' as I turned to go
[Chorus]
I was way behind one day to catch the train
Taxi driver said ""We'll make it just the same""
The speed cop made it with us
And as he wrote out the ticket
I stood by politely a-waitin' for my change
[Chorus x3]
"