Water Cooler Suicide

The Last Felony
Album : Too Many Humans
That's how I want it to end. A footnote on the back of a crappy newspaper. A short report by some faggot with a bad combover on the morning news. Something everyone would discuss that day at work and start their day off thinking about the uselessness of their own existence: a real water cooler suicide. If you want to be remembered, you have to go out with a bang. People judge a story solely on it's ending. You have to give them what they want: blood, sex, and controversy. the more embarrassing, the better! Most people can't remember the singer from INXS' name, but we all know he was found in a hotel room, hanging from his own belt with his limp dick in hand. As a result of an overzealous game of autoerotic asphyxiation. If he only managed to cum just a bit faster, he might still be alive today. And we'd probably all have completely forgotten about him by now. He has attained the status of a legend through one final disgusting, self-gratifying, quasi-suicidal, carnal act. It doesn't matter what you accomplish in life, as long as you give them something to talk about when you die. I want to be remembered for one single stupidity I committed, and forgotten for who I really was.


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Related lyrics

Singer Song title
The Last Felony Too Many Humans
The Last Felony No One Would Notice If You Died
The Last Felony Do Not Defend Me
The Last Felony Quandary
The Last Felony Most Unclean
The Last Felony Overrated Existence
The Last Felony Televisionary
The Last Felony We Are Future Housing Developements For Maggots
Dokken FELONY
Dokken Felony




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