The Secret Life Of Morgan Davis (Alternate Mix -  2001)

Ben Folds
Album : The Best Imitation Of Myself : A Retrospective

Uh, okay, we're going to do a new song thenIt's about a man named, uhMorgan Davis, MorganMorgan left the house to get some Cream of WheatAnd came back with a little bit moreAll right, this features Joe DeLorenzaHis wife is tired, she wants to sleepBut all that Morgan Davis wants is Cream of WheatHe waits and when she turns out the lightsHe tip-toes through the darknessAs he slips to the nightThis boring life and he leads of buying and selling stocksMakes him feel he's growing old and tiredThere's no joy or strife just by passing timeIn this boring lifeHe wants the lights, the Jaz, a piece of assA toothless bitch to blow him for a vile of crackHe cooks his junk in some GatoradeAnd scores a bag of chronic on the East MLKThe secret life and he leads itBy selling drugs keeps him up at nightHe's selling hash, screwing trailer trashHey, he's making cash, it's a whoring lifeMy friends are all salesman, my wife is a slutThere must be something bigger I can stick in my buttThe IRS is auditing, my life is in a rutAnd so he's fired his heat, he's blown his blowIt's coming up on sunrise and it's time to goHe smells like barf, his hair's a messHe wipes the coke and lipstick off his fat, hairy, chestHe stumbles home from a 'Lesie' showHe will be at work in an hour or soHe crawls in bed with his sleeping wifeJust a night to break up his boring life